The Conspiracy Theory Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, in the North Pole so bright,
Where a secret was brewing, hidden from sight.
In a workshop aglow with holiday cheer,
Santa and elves whispered, so no one would hear.

In this cozy abode, filled with toys and with glee,
Lay a secret concoction, not meant for you and me.
It was called Conspiracy Theory Coffee, a brew so rare,
Infused with the magic of the cold, polar air.

Santa, tired from checking his list, once and twice,
Found this coffee so nice, it was brewed in a trice.
A dash of peppermint, a hint of gingerbread,
It kept him awake, and his reindeer well-fed.

But oh, the rumors that flew in the frosty night!
They said, “This brew’s for the reindeer, it gives them their flight!”
But we know, dear friends, that’s not quite true,
For reindeer run on carrots, and a bit of magic too.

The elves, they giggled, as they worked with a smile,
This coffee, they said, made their labor worthwhile.
It sped up their hammers, it brightened their eyes,
It was their little secret, under the northern skies.

But not all was merry, not all was bright,
For some whispered of naughtiness, hidden from sight.
They said the coffee was magic, that it could do more,
Make elves work double, make Santa soar.

Yet others, they smiled, and said with a cheer,
“This coffee brings joy, and to all, good cheer!
It’s the heart of the workshop, the soul of the Pole,
It brings us together, it makes Christmas whole.”

So, as you lay snug in your beds, with dreams in your head,
Think of the North Pole, where no one’s in bed.
Santa and his elves, with their coffee so fine,
Are preparing your gifts, in the starlight that shines.

And if you smell peppermint and gingerbread too,
Perhaps Santa’s nearby, with his CTC brew.
In the wink of an eye, in the cold winter’s night,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!