On the eve of a new year, Earth was alive with excitement, the sky would soon be ablaze with fireworks. Unknown to the Earthlings, an alien named Kryzak was approaching, drawn by tales of the legendary Conspiracy Theory Coffee. As the first firework burst into the night, Kryzak, mistaking it for a greeting, became distracted and his spaceship veered off course, crashing near Area 51.
The government quickly swooped in, confiscating the ship for its mysterious technologies. Stranded, Kryzak was not deterred. He had come too far to leave without tasting the coffee that was said to reveal cosmic truths. With a resolve as strong as the finest espresso, he set out to rebuild his spaceship as it was too far for him to walk to Tarpon Springs.
Gathering materials seemed an impossible task, but Kryzak was resourceful. He found old tin foil hats, discarded by conspiracy theorists, parts of dismantled Faraday cages, and transistors from outdated electronics. Night after night, under the starry sky, he worked, piecing together a ship from these unlikely components.
As his creation took shape, so did his legend. Whispers of a stranded alien spread through the region. Some came to help, others to see the truth with their own eyes. All the while, Kryzak’s longing for the Conspiracy Theory Coffee grew. He imagined its taste, a single origin so powerful it could unlock the mysteries of the universe.
Finally, Kryzak stood at a crossroads, his makeshift spaceship nearly complete. A signpost pointed in several directions. He held a piece of tin foil in one hand, a transistor in the other, and a dream in his heart.
Whether Kryzak ever got to sip the coveted coffee, whether his ship soared once more, those are tales for another night. But on that starlit evening, at the crossroads, an alien with a mission stood, a testament to the extraordinary events that unfolded on a New Year’s Eve in Tampa.