It was an atypical day, when Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and a Unicorn were casually grabbing their afternoon pick-me-up, Conspiracy Theory Coffee. Sure, it’s hard enough believing that Bigfoot would be into Americanos or that Nessie has a hankering for decadent dark roast, but a unicorn drinking a rainbow latte? Now, that’s the real conspiracy. As they stirred their respective drinks, a collection of arched eyebrows was the only thing louder than the hushed whispers that surrounded them.
As the caffeine kicked in, Bigfoot, true to his persona, remained mostly silent, occasionally grunting out theories about the faked moon landing. Nessie, with her Scottish brogue, passionately argued about how the government is hiding alien technology in Area 51. And the unicorn? With sprinkles still on its muzzle, it chimed in about parallel universes where Bigfoot and Nessie are widely accepted celebrities, but unicorns are dismissed as mere fantasies. The debates were fierce, or as heated as they can be when one participant communicates mostly through ‘neighs’. As for the spectators, the believers were in absolute awe, convinced they were witnessing a rare cryptid roundtable discussion. The nonbelievers, on the other hand, were too busy trying to capture the perfect Instagram photo to critique the discussion’s logical consistency.
In the end, none of the three were able to claim victory in their epic conspiracy theory tug-of-wars. But let’s be honest, they were all real winners in life, not because they swayed opinions or solved any mysteries, but because they got to enjoy their Conspiracy Theory Coffee. After all, isn’t that the true secret to happiness? Enjoying wild new theories, with a good dose of caffeine, and the unforgettable scent of… was that unicorn sprinkles?